Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Done With Perfect

 {{ I posted this on one of my old blogs and got a HUGE response. 28,976 of you readers let me know how much you liked it. You all liked it so much that I had to repost it because it's been several years ago since this post became first active on blogger. Well for those of you who have never got a chance to read it. Here you have it! I hope you find it encouraging as well! Thanks all! }}

We live in a society that is constantly  pressuring us to live this way, or to do that; to fit this certain mold. This is especially  true, for Mothers. Why do we as Mothers feel superior in the way we raise our kids and choose to live our lives? You fill in the blank. I know for me, trying to work so hard at being Supermom and paint that picture of perfection is completely and absolutely driven by pride. My insecurities as a Mother stare me in the face everyday just waiting for me to crack. Pride is my 'cover up' my 'mask' so to speak. I feel the need to hide my imperfections as a Mother in the attempt to achieve that certain 'mold' every other Mother seems to be trying to fit in as well. The mold of perfection where you are Supermom and can do it all. This my friends is called, perfectionism and it is a sin. A sin, we are all guilty of. If you say you are just not that kind of woman then, A: you are really  good at lying or B: You haven't taken the time to be honest with yourself.

So how can we finally be done with this whole perfectionism thing?

Well, below I have listed a few simple steps given from one very wise woman that we all can learn something from whether we have children or not: 

  • Set realisitc, reachable goals based on what you have accomplished in the past. This will enable you to rein in unrealistic expectations and experience the satisfaction of achievement.  
  • Set subsequent goals in a sequential manner. As you reach a reasonale goal, set your next goal one step beyond your present level of accomplishment. 
  • Relax your standards for success. Everything does not need to be perfect -in fact, everything cannot be. Choose any activity and instead of aiming for 100 percent, try for 90 percent, 80 percent, or even 70 percent success. This will help you realize that the world does not end when you are giving less than 100%.
  • Focus on the process of doing an activity, not just the end result.Evaluate your success not only in terms of what you accomplished but also in terms of how you accomplished it. Did you remain calm and loving? Did you enjoy the process? For those of my readers who are fellow Christ followers: Did you do it as unto the Lord as an act of Worship? 
  • Use feelings of anxiety and depression as opportunities to question yourself: "Have I set impossible expectations for myself in this situation?" "Am I giving in to fear?" "Have I lost sight of what's esssential in God's eyes?
  • Confront the fears that may be behined your perfectionism by asking yourself, "What am I afraid of?" What is the worst thing that could happen?" ... What does the Bible say? Even you non-Christ followers -consider this. 
  • Recall a recent mistake you made and list things you can learn from it.Mistakes are powerful learning tools, most growth and success involves learning through mistakes.
  • Pray daily, giving your stresses and to-do list to Christ to oversee.Remember that His priority is your chaaracter and relationships, over your accomplishments. Meditate on verses like 2 Peter 1:3, Psalm 18:30-32, Ecclesiates 7:16-18, and 2 Cornithians 12:9. 
  • Lastly, don't sweat the small stuff! Don't feel guilty to rest and take some time to take care of yourself too! Your alone time is so important. Is there a little trail of cheerios from the living room to the kitchen sink? Or did you forget to take that load of clothes out of the washer? (Eeep!) Breath deep and walk away! It'll be there for you whe you get back...but your sanity won't! Let it go! And don't sweat it! 
So saddle up and say goodbye to perfectionism Supermom...and loosen up a little! Do away with the competition and give a farewell to pride and insecurity. Don't  be afraid to be wrong every now and again. Learn from your critics, -in fact grow with them! We are all equals in this journey whether Mothers or not. Don't let perfectionism control you any longer. Refuse  to be it's prisoner and be the change you want to see in your kids. I may not be the "perfect" Mom, but I am the perfect Mom for my kids and you are the perfect Mom for yours. We're in this TOGETHER! 

One dipaer at a time, 

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